| [ |
mood |
| |
 crushed |
] |
Its scary, when you wanna be yourself and you cant. Its scary when you just push the girl you love away, and all she does is say i love u. And i give her nothing but grief. Why, why am i like this. I hate this. I wanna be affectionate, i wanna love her. Even my grandma wanted to chat to her, as i walked in the door, my grandma said whats wrong, i said nothing. She asked again, and i said Nothing, she wanted to talk to her. I cant believe it was i so wrong, was i. I should have stopped her. I should have ran down the car. Instead, i destroyed the mailbox. Whats wrong with me, i feel like im loosing it, and even the girl i love wont let me be me. I wanna scream i wanna burn i wanna say Let me be who i am. I keep looking at the ring. The ring that meant so much. Which now hurts i feel grief i feel pain. Thats what the ring now reminds me of. Not of joy, but of grief. I keep thinking i should sell it, she probably wouldnt like it anyway. god kelli i so hate this why cant you see. I so hate this I wanmna marry you and i understand i know how u feel i feel the same way but i feel so alone. I feel so alone. I wish we could talk right now. All i would do is cry, i cant stop the tears inside. Im not physically crying but inside it cant stop. I dont mean to treat u this way kelli, i feel like im a bad boyfriend. i cant handle this anymore. I want you to be in my life everyday, god im crying now. i cant type i i just cant |
