Are you fake or real YOU Decide

Are you fake or real YOU Decide

So its about 3am.  Im bored as fuck, at my grandmas. I finally have my cell phone .. a month of it being off.  Its 2 months till i move again hopefully.  I feel so bored, unsatisfied, disgusted,  and unwanted where i live and for everything i do. I only have one highlight out of my week,  seeing an old high school buddy stevie cooley, which i probably wont see again. I havent seen her since  she graduated in 2002,  In ways i just feel so fed up with where i live, I talk to no one that i knew or try to know anymore. I get everybodys tele prompt im busy go away. Or thats nice  ill chat to you later, and later never comes. I just dont get why people my damn age and even younger can be so shallow. And so dis interested in anything. I have 261 friends on my myspace, and the ones i went to school with or know dont even chat at all.  Whats the damn point of being within reach without reaching out?

Lately i feel just so alienated, i live with an acholic, if he drinks vodka he gets whacked. I had a life, i had   2 friends. But i had to sleep with my best friend and ruin it. Then go even further, move her in. And create a drama in my life that i have never gotten closure for.

I cant see my best friend anymore, shes with a control freak, In terms of trying to find a better best friend Monroe is shit out of luck,  All the damn girls here assume im some fucking asshole, just cause they had some bad shit happen with an ex, and they cant get over it. Or they have such a low self confidence.

I can find no one that has  any intect, no one here seems intelligent, nope monroe has gals that read Seventeen magizine, or as i said so superficial so shallow or think your an ass. Im sick of this town, dont even get me started about work.

I will only say i paid 36 grand out of my ass, to get an associates degree for computer networking, to find  guess what, No one within 25 miles will hire me! Why? Cause monroe is a hicktown a farm town, where incest is king, by the way i was born in Taylor Mi, not Monroe Mi, so i aint even related to anyone here.
All i can think of is will this be my life for the next 10-20 years? Its just heartless, and as  i said i feel so alienated by those i have tried to know. That i either have given up, or just dont care much now. Cause obviously they dont either. Right? Or do i not give anyone any chances.
My dream is that i can  leave this damn state in the next 5 years, and see if anyone cries  or says hey where did ricky go? So far everyone on my myspace except maybe stevie, or christina  is exactly that a fair weather friend. Its a hard truth to read, if you are on my friends list and are reading this but its the truth.  If we dont talk, or barely do and i bug ya about chatting your in the list. Im sorry to be an ass but 715 people have read my blog, and yet i have 4 comments.

WTF is wrong with people, i see everyone commenting on other friends blogs? Are you all that self absorbed?  And i know Stevie feels the same damn way, no one wants to see her but me.  I think she feels just as frustrated by the fakeness,  I guess i only have 2 real friends on myspace.  No one else says hey or hi everyday but those 2.  Sorry justin, kukwa you messaged me your number too and wanna hang out.  Im just want a friend and the real deal.

Originally posted on ricky1146.vox.com